Unexpected Expectancies

I knew that once left home, everything was going to change.
It all was expected, yet I felt like when it was happening I had no idea how to handle it.

My understanding of a mission was very limited. Being a convert, I didn't even know that girls could serve a mission! So it was a entirely different world I was emerging myself into. Walking through the MTC on that first day, everyone just seem to fit. They had some grasp of the situation even though moments ago we were all separated from our families.
A name tag was placed on me and books were shoved into my hands. They were so heavy! Why were there so many books? I guess that is what happens when you speak a language- more time learning and more books to burden your already limited luggage.
I was the first one in the classroom... great. And I knew there would be no more english from that point on because I was greeted by a word I did not know. My companion was the next one in the door. She was every emotion crammed into one girl. When she spoke they all tried to escape at once.
The first day set the standard for things I expected and not quite expected. A trend of confusion that lasted my entire mission...

You hear that you will have hard times and people tell you that trials will come.
But when they do come- they are an unexpected blow every time. This applies to life outside of a mission as well.
The main message I want to get across today is that: TRIALS ARE MEANT TO HELP US GROW. 

Trials happen and we know they will happen. The best thing we can do is except them and try to move past them. Instead of standing like a deer in headlights, we can deal with trials with confidence as they come. You know like will be hard. Just because you don't know specifically HOW it will be hard doesn't mean you can give up ever.

They are tailored specifically to us so that we are the ones the will grow and benefit from them when they are over. That is why something seemingly easy to you is harder to someone else. Or when you are going through a hard time and then notice that others are "better off" than you. We are all at different levels and we all have our weaknesses and strengths compared to other people.***

***A little advice: DO NOT compare yourself EVER. It only hurts you and other people. There is always the tendency to look at other missionaries and think "They are better at contacting. They are better at the language. They are a leader and I am not because President doesn't think I can be a leader." It is all not true.

We have established that trials are expected.

What is the unexpected then? I believe that the things that are most unexpected are the ones that end up changing you the most.

My examples:

My visa was delayed.
I was put in three trios.
I was sick my entire mission.
I had 4 different trainers.
I served with two Russian sisters.
I sent a companion home for her health conditions.
I went home early for my own health.

How they changed me:
*I never would have served in an english speaking mission in Los Angeles and met the most incredible people and families there.
*I got the experience of serving with other sisters and more chances to learn from them.
*I was able to understand the Atonement more and the amazing enabling power he gives when we feel like we have no strength to carry on.
*I had 4 different teaching styles for myself to become a better missionary.
*Spoke Russian constantly and had the opportunity to learn the culture close up and personal. Living with girls from another country is so eye-opening and rewarding.
*I was able to cope with my own trip home and I learned compassion for others and how to take care of people when they cannot take care of themselves. I learned also that I can step up and be a leader.
*I learned what it means to ultimately rely on the Lord and that he answers EVERY prayer in His time and in his own way.

I think that this post was a lot longer than I expected.
Then again did I?
Ironic right?

It All Matters

Everything we go through in life is a challenge- a test to see what we will do in any given situation.

I believe there are two ways to handle anything: Face it or Avoid it. 

We can rise up to the challenge and actually try to work things out. Or we can shrink back and accept the consequences of letting things unfold as they are. 

Let me give an example of my current situation. 

I just moved and with the need to pay rent next month I find myself penniless. The student loan was not what I expected it to be, and now I cannot pay rent. The decision now is to stand up and work or abandon ship and give up to go back home a failure. The road to stay and endure through any trial will ALWAYS BE THE HARDER than quitting. That is why you always become stronger. Because you are handling something that you normally couldn't. So the Lord needs to help you become stronger to deal with the harder challenges of life. 

Quitting is the easy way out. 

Enduring is the way to empowerment. 

This is all because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Which has more than one purpose. The Atonement not only saves us from death, but also enables us to become better people. It changes us and defies all things. 

I would always compare the Atonement to a bridge and ladder helping us on our path to Heavenly Father. 

There are TWO obstacles on our path. Physical death and Spiritual death. 

1. We will all die, but because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ we will all be saved. EVERYONE WILL BE RESURRECTED NO MATTER WHAT. Good or bad, we will all live forever. That is the bridge that takes us over physical death. It is a free gift paid for by Jesus Christ through the Atonement and it applies to everyone that was, is and will live on earth. 

HOW we will live is entirely dependent on the next part.

2. We all sin and we are all accountable for our OWN sins. When we sin, we further ourselves from God and this is known as Spiritual Death. That is the second obstacle. We cannot get ourselves out accept through repentance. Christ suffered for us so that we wouldn't have to. When we believe in him, repent and come unto him we overcome that obstacle of spiritual death. He already suffered for all of the sins of the world. All we have to do is accept that and believe in him. Then do we receive strength in trials and forgiveness in our despair. He LOVES us and wants to help us. The only thing stopping us from accessing the power of the Atonement is ourselves. When we repent we are choosing Him and He will always be there to help us. Because His power and grace towards us is infinite.

Ether 12:27 "I will turn weaknesses into strengths"

This is true. I saw it happen again and again in my own life and in other's lives on my mission. It doesn't matter what language you speak or who you are. We are all the same to God and our worth to Him is greater than we know. He created us so that we could be happy, and how amazing is that in itself? 

We are here for a reason. 

What we do in this life matters.

We all matter.

Mission Preparation

I am definitely someone who OVER-prepares for everything.

I make sure that nothing is left unconsidered or left behind. So naturally as I was preparing for such a major event as a mission, I wanted to be completely prepared. Of course, in the end what really happened was the opposite despite all the work I put forth.

Some things I overly prepared for:
1. Mission Preparation classes
   In the end I took 4 classes. Which is probably 3 too many. I really wanted to feel like I was really learning how to be a missionary before I left. I wanted to "hit the ground running" which was actually a phrase that my teacher told me near the end. I really suggest taking a class. I DON'T REGRET taking these classes, but I know that I did overly prepare by taking them. I am sure one class would have been enough. I had some companions who wish that they did, or had the opportunity to take one. Totally worth it.

2. Packing
   I did not know what to expect. I thought Russia was deprived of so many things. Really I just had no idea what WAS available to me. I heard rumors of people bringing the craziest things. I really had dump so many things on each transfer that I found out were a waste of space.

Here is a list of the things that I did not know existed in Russia:

   *Tampons- They are in the pharmacies everywhere (brands like "always" and "tampax")
   *Q Tips ... literally for like 10 cents everywhere
   *Face wash
   *Toothbrushes
   *Ibuprofen- but american medicine is a millions times better.
   *Can openers
   *Razors
   *Basically most things used for hygiene.

Things that are NOT in Russia that you need to adjust to:

   *Clothes Dryers.
   *Dish Washer
   *Swiffers- they got stick brooms and mops. For a mop they actually take a t-shaped pole and put a      
     cloth on it. If  you want a more "modern" one you have to go to the market and buy one.
   *Your Family and friends
   *The English language

Rare Finds:

   *Peanut butter- Found at Metro, Lenta, and Karosel
   *Oreos
   *Doritos
   *Baskin Robbins Ice Cream- store in samara (Revolution square)
   *Raspberries
   *Mountain Dew- Fix price (2 for 41 rubles)
   *Strawberries
   *Taco Shells and seasoning (santa maria tex mex brand)
   *Hersheys cookies and cream


Funny story about the tampons...
I had several companions bring tampons from home. In fact, most sisters had them-myself included. My companion in the MTC had a big freak out over this. She decided that she did not pack enough tampons to last her entire stay in Russia. (2 boxes) So she told her mom to send her more. She then received two large boxes for Christmas of all of these tampons! She ended up going to Russia with 7 boxes of them! She had like NO room in her luggage. It was a ridiculous waste of space and I am pretty sure she regretted it later on.

If you have any questions about things that are in and not in Russia, leave a comment and I can add it to the list later on.

Preparing for the Call

I received my call on July 17, 2013 to serve in the Russia Samara Mission

leaving for the MTC on December 4, 2013 to speak in the Russian language.

   I cannot convey to you the absolute excitement I felt opening that call. It felt like I had waited so long to receive it. I had Done so much and sacrificed significantly in order to have received my call.

   I spent a considerable amount of time waiting for the moment to turn in my papers with my parent's approval. They were NOT agreeable to the idea of me serving a mission, let alone in another country. Looking back now, it doesn't seem like much of an obstacle. But really, it was one of the hardest times in my life. I was struggling between doing what I new was right and following and respecting my parents.

   I think there were many factors of them being against my mission. Most reasons were very realistic- not enough money, too much of a risk, need to finish college, etcetera. I really did think at one time there was fear of the unknown. Everyone must face it at some point in their lives. Usually it is when a child "leaves the nest" and goes to college or joins the army or some other event significant enough to force childhood into a goodbye.
   I know that my dad, for the most part, was holding on. And the fear of doing something that did not follow the state quo of a "normal life" was unnerving.
   No doubt he still feels that way. I feel, even now off the mission, that I need another event that will help me break out of my childhood home. These times in our lives come naturally. You sense their approach and you can feel the excitement in the air you breathe when it comes near. They are special and precious times that we cannot let pass by. I have a theory (that hopefully will be proven in the near future) that those who let these opportunities of self-fulfillment pass by are more likely to feel more depressed, feel more regrets, and find their lives are not being lived for their own self improvement.
   I believe a degree of selfishness is required in order to better understand ourselves. We need to pay attention to who we are and what qualities we are made of. Pay attention to who we are becoming and make goals and plans to better ourselves. Ted R. Calister said in his talk The Fourth Missionary, "the greatest creation you will ever create is YOU."

   Tension still existed from a fight we had about me going on a mission. They made their point clear that serving a mission was out of the question. I went to the Bishop for guidance. They also went to my Bishop- to tell me to not go on a mission. So they invited the Bishop over to convince me not to go. I remember feeling so hurt that day. I knew what God had asked me to do, but no one was going to help me reach my goal.
    I felt confused for the longest time. Because I had thought I was choosing was the right thing, and I knew that my answer to go on a mission was from God. If this was was I was supposed to do, then why was it such a challenge to GO?

   I learned that God needed me to understand that even though he gave me a task, I had to follow through and prove that I would follow Him. The way wasn't going to have been made easy and clear once I decided to serve a mission. The Lord needed me to prove that I would do anything to obey His word. I needed to struggle to rely on Him. Because when I felt that no one was on my side, I was left to myself. Only when I was alone, did I find that I wasn't. He was there the whole time. He never wavered, never left me, and was trying to tell me that He would help me.

Like I said, my parents' hearts changed.

I was able to put my papers in on May 3, 2013 and then waited a lifetime to receive my call.
As stated before, I received it July 17, 2013. More than two months later! Which is literally unheard of in Utah. Usually prospective missionaries in Utah receive their calls within 2 weeks. the agony of waiting made me crazy.

  I knew that my call would change my life.
Because it is the place that I would remember every day leading up to and continuing through and after my mission. It was the key that told who I would meet and what culture I would come to cherish. I was certain that it was that one place (whether in or out of the United States) that would win my heart forever. Which was unnerving and exhilarating and these emotions practically left me breathless as I read my call.
I will never forget the initial shock from reading out loud. "Russia Samara Mission".

My Conversion to a New Life

I was baptized with my sister, Bizzy (Elizabeth for formal use) 6 years ago.

I always remember August 9, 2008 and then the day I received the Holy Ghost August 10, 2008. I remember it so clearly because I remember that was the day that marked a change in my life. It was absolutely the biggest thing that ever happened in my life. I am pretty sure that was the day that everything changed.
You hear stories like that and expect some sort of cliche response. "Everything changed" seems like an appropriate response. There is always a pivotal moment in a person's life that seems to mark all other events as meaningless up to that point.
Granted, my life was no meaningless leading up to my baptism. I had the most amazingly normal life. My parents were those who tried incredibly hard to make my life one that was both happy and encouraged independence. Which I realize was absolutely perfect. If I wasn't raised an independent thinker, than how could I have chosen the church for myself? How could I possibly have ventured out of my comfort zone far enough to accept the teachings of two 19-year-old boys into my house to learn about Jesus Christ?

The circumstances were perfect and the timing was right in the Lord's hands.
Elder Da Silva was from Brazil and Elder Byers was from Houston, Texas. They were not so special to me when I was younger. At the time, they were just a coincidence to me. But now, after serving a full-time mission, I understand how they worked so hard to find, teach and baptize me and my sister.

And really they did not have to do much, because the Lord had prepared us through our friends to receive the gospel at the perfect time in our lives. Without even knowing, He drew us to the church and placed us on paths we had no idea existed. I am so grateful that He would care so much as to do that for me and my sister.

2 weeks of "discussions" later, we were baptized. At the time we had decided to get baptized, I am pretty sure that they did not ask us. I had asked about it and no one had previously discussed it with me or the significance of BEING baptized. I just understood that in the scriptures it said that "Those who are baptized are saved and those who are not are damned." Which was a scary thought, but entirely simple to understand for anyone. And so, I knew what the right thing was to do, and that was to be baptized. I can never begin to be grateful enough for being baptized on August 9, 2008.

There have been so many times in my mission where I have thought and believed that I was born into this religion. That this is something that I have been living my entire life. I cannot describe the personal shock I feel when I realize I am a convert. It gets me every time. I was only baptized 6 years ago, yet I feel this connecting bond to the gospel as if I had known it my entire life. And that I had always been taught its principles and standards of righteous living.

It reminds me "When people here truth, it resonates within them." We have always known that this gospel is true, we have only forgotten it when we came to earth. I know that to be true. I now that because I feel such a deep connection to God and Heaven on a personal level. It is a secure feeling that has already stood the test of time. When you know that there is a history between you two. A lifetime of memories and and entire lifetime more of talking to one another. It feels vaguely the same as when you hear your father or mother's voice and that instant recognition floods over you. Of course you know who they are, they are your parents. And we have a Heavenly Father who loves us infinitely more so.

I can't even remember a time where the gospel wasn't in my life. I don't want to imagine a world without knowing the truth, without feeling that wonderful security that I feel with the Spirit close by, or without the knowledge I do now.
I know that God lead me to the Truth on purpose, but I still was under control of my own path.


I know that this life is the one to be living. A life with the Atonement, Jesus Christ, and knowledge of Heavenly Father and His plan. I can never ever look back, it is not possible. This is my life now.
It is new, it is beautiful, and I as so grateful for this chance to live again.

Beginning Again

Let me introduce myself-

I am Addison James, formally know as Sister James only a few weeks ago.
I am a convert of 6 years and recent return missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I served in the Russia Samara Mission. Arguably the best mission in the world.

I was originally called to serve from December 4, 2013 to June 22, 2015 (which is 18 months gave or take a few weeks due to transfers).

Instead, I came home March 13, 2015. Which was 3 months earlier than previously determined.
The reason being?
Sickness.
I was sick from the Missionary Training Center down to my very last day in Russia. Not to mention the incredibly long and painful plane ride home to Salt Lake City
I was finally diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome: class C. Which is not serious. Like at all.
IBS is just another way to say really annoying digestive pain. Some cases definitely worse than others. Depending on the person of course.

So. I received revelation/ prompting/ some sort of awakening or realization towards the end of my mission that when I went home I would help as many people as possible. I figured I would do that through service and other means of physically helping people.
The thought came to me that I needed to write a blog. Which was something that I had never supposed. Because I remember that I had, at one point in my life, tried to keep one and I failed miserably.

But I remembered before my mission I wanted a source that would be able to tell me what to expect on a mission. Especially a mission in Russia. I remembered searching the internet for some well of information that would give me a hint of what a mission would be like. I had not grown up with a background of missionary work. I was not in primary to hear "I Hope They Call Me on a Mission." Some children spend their whole lives preparing for a mission. I had only a few years of conversion to drive me forward.

And so that bring me to why I am here. I am here for you.

There are so many things that happen that I had NO idea about. I over prepared and under prepared myself for so many things. I know that my knowledge is still limited, but I do have some wisdom that I would like to bestow upon you.

I will be talking about 5 important parts of my mission:

1. Preparing to leave
2. The MTC
3. Los Angles Mission:(aka: Visa waiting game)
4. Serving in Russia
5. Coming Home

Before, in-between, and all around these important pieces will be just-as-important information and tips. It is all for YOUR benefit. Though, it will also act as closure and therapy for me. To break down my mission, the things I left too soon. My mission meant everything to me. It was the hardest decision I ever made- to leave.

So there it is.
And here I am- to answer questions and help in anyway I can.

-The one formally know as "Sister James"