It all was expected, yet I felt like when it was happening I had no idea how to handle it.
My understanding of a mission was very limited. Being a convert, I didn't even know that girls could serve a mission! So it was a entirely different world I was emerging myself into. Walking through the MTC on that first day, everyone just seem to fit. They had some grasp of the situation even though moments ago we were all separated from our families.
A name tag was placed on me and books were shoved into my hands. They were so heavy! Why were there so many books? I guess that is what happens when you speak a language- more time learning and more books to burden your already limited luggage.
I was the first one in the classroom... great. And I knew there would be no more english from that point on because I was greeted by a word I did not know. My companion was the next one in the door. She was every emotion crammed into one girl. When she spoke they all tried to escape at once.
The first day set the standard for things I expected and not quite expected. A trend of confusion that lasted my entire mission...
You hear that you will have hard times and people tell you that trials will come.
But when they do come- they are an unexpected blow every time. This applies to life outside of a mission as well.
The main message I want to get across today is that: TRIALS ARE MEANT TO HELP US GROW.
Trials happen and we know they will happen. The best thing we can do is except them and try to move past them. Instead of standing like a deer in headlights, we can deal with trials with confidence as they come. You know like will be hard. Just because you don't know specifically HOW it will be hard doesn't mean you can give up ever.
They are tailored specifically to us so that we are the ones the will grow and benefit from them when they are over. That is why something seemingly easy to you is harder to someone else. Or when you are going through a hard time and then notice that others are "better off" than you. We are all at different levels and we all have our weaknesses and strengths compared to other people.***
***A little advice: DO NOT compare yourself EVER. It only hurts you and other people. There is always the tendency to look at other missionaries and think "They are better at contacting. They are better at the language. They are a leader and I am not because President doesn't think I can be a leader." It is all not true.
We have established that trials are expected.
What is the unexpected then? I believe that the things that are most unexpected are the ones that end up changing you the most.
My examples:
My visa was delayed.
I was put in three trios.
I was sick my entire mission.
I had 4 different trainers.
I served with two Russian sisters.
I sent a companion home for her health conditions.
I went home early for my own health.
How they changed me:
*I never would have served in an english speaking mission in Los Angeles and met the most incredible people and families there.
*I got the experience of serving with other sisters and more chances to learn from them.
*I was able to understand the Atonement more and the amazing enabling power he gives when we feel like we have no strength to carry on.
*I had 4 different teaching styles for myself to become a better missionary.
*Spoke Russian constantly and had the opportunity to learn the culture close up and personal. Living with girls from another country is so eye-opening and rewarding.
*I was able to cope with my own trip home and I learned compassion for others and how to take care of people when they cannot take care of themselves. I learned also that I can step up and be a leader.
*I learned what it means to ultimately rely on the Lord and that he answers EVERY prayer in His time and in his own way.
I think that this post was a lot longer than I expected.
Then again did I?
Ironic right?
